Nothing much to say.. Haven’t been here for some time. Reading through some old posts, now vowed to lighten up. That’s the plan.

It seems I’m always saying the same thing, stuck in the same rut every now and then. But, aren’t we all?

Doing too much, trying hard to be perfect until we crash. Sleep to escape from the world, from restrictions. It’s always the same failed attempt at seeking balance, as if you’re back to square one. Leaving you feeling that maybe you should never have even bothered, because here you are again… blogging in hopes that it will jumpstart you into some artificial momentum of inspiration where next time, you will truly be looking back from some future state of mind, laughing gently at the silly insignificance that once plagued you.

The day before yesterday, read as Saturday, I fell down from the stairs. It wasn’t a deliberate act I have almost zero tolerance for pain but an accident. I was busy calling my friend when I missed a step, and the next thing I knew, I was in pain. Lol sob bruises on my elbow and knee.

Pain aside, I found out accidentally that someone has a crush on me. Then I have a crush on someone else. No wait, make it 2 guys. One is from the IT industry, the other from the PR industry. Both are nice but that’s about it. It’s just a little crush.

On a side note, I found out some guys on my list aren’t smart enough. I know I’m usually on the clueless side when it comes to puter and such, but I wasn’t expecting some guys to be well, clueless than me. Ended up, I spent 5 hours or so with Daniel, trying to fix his puter and yes, it’s fixed. The problem can be solved in less than 5 hours time but Alex was sleeping, and waking him up to fix something that is broken and not ours, that’s just asking for trouble. If he’s awake, then it’s ok, he’ll help. The IT guy, he too can help me with the problem but there’s no way I’m going to wake him up in the middle of night.

Ok, a brief introduction of Daniel. I’ve known Daniel for some time. I don’t talk about him at all previously because we rarely see each other or communicate until recently. We started off as strangers, then acquaintances, now friends. Pretty good, I’d say

Jess, you’re working now - that’s good. Am happy for you. I told G about it and he’s happy for you too. Anyway, I know I haven’t been around for some time. Been busy with some projects, and still is. Alex is understanding enough, my family too but my friends think otherwise. Houdini act, Jess. Oh well, I need to plan my time after this month. Come to think of it, next month is another busy month for me. My friend is coming back from UK yay! and we’ll be spending time together doing who-knows-what, lol.

As with playing games online, I think it’s better to put a halt to it for few reasons. Lots of things happened when you weren’t around Jess. One of it, someone thought I got nothing else to do except for making his friend got banned by GM for hacking. Oh the drama. Oh well, say whatever. Why argue when his mind has decided that I reported his friend? Sheesh!

Keith, what did I miss? I was at your blog and I’m somewhat confused. Are you what you said you are on your blog? Well, if it’s true, it’s fine with me. As long as you’re happy, who’s complaining? Besides, Meg is fine with it. Whatever she text you, it’s true. Now about the girlfriend part, that reminds me of another friend. Hedonist

Cheryl. Woman, where have you been? You don’t come on MSN anymore, you don’t update your blog anymore (the official one, not LJ. I haven’t the chance to check LJ). Is your Singapore number still active? Hmm, I’m gonna text you and see what happens, hehe.

Jake, we talked last night so nothing much to say for now. Should catch up with each other more often rather than the monthly hi-and-bye.

It’s time to say goodnight for I have to wake up early in the morning. Few appointments on the same day. I should consider to clone myself (lol!). Ok, night night everyone. Love you guys, muacks.

Daisies are such happy flowers; they seem to smile at you all the time, their wide open faces and centres make them friendly flowers for they seem to say “Look right inside my heart. What you see is what you get”.

Whenever I look at daisies, I am often reminded that a man’s heart reflects a man. We are who or what our hearts are. Fortunately (or unfortunately), the heart is not an exposed part of our body. So, who would know a man’s heart but himself (or erm, maybe the cardiologists in some cases, lol).

Many of us go to great lengths to hide what is in our hearts because exposing it would be too… dangerous, and painful thing. Unlike daisies, maybe there isn’t much honey in there; just some gall and its offensive taste would surely repel people. We don’t want that. Everyone needs someone for various reasons, from friendships to favors. The fact is, it is the latter which spurs us on to form the first. Oh, who would want that to be exposed? On the other hand, is that we can be taken advantage of. Who would know the other’s heart?

The simple look of the daisies is so inviting - you can see what you’re putting your fingers into. I suppose getting to know someone is very much like that too. It is easy to appreciate those who are forthright in their views and feelings for you know what they are about. One doesn’t have to sit through a masquerade to guess who is behind the mask. There is a certain liberty in that relationship or friendship because it frees you to be who you are.

Children. They don’t judge you; they just accept you for you are. There is no need to run around in circles to get to their heart and know what are they thinking and feeling because they tell you what is inside. And often times we take them as they are without passing judgment either. How refreshing for a weary soul to be bathed in that kind of honest acceptance. No strings attached, no favors pending. Love them, and they will love you more than you can imagine. If only such works for adults, if only.

Children teach us the most amazing lessons about the fine benefits of being ourselves. So it is true then that it is the seemingly foolish things of the world that would shame the wise, and the weak to shame the strong. So often we are clowns walking around with garish colors and a smile that repels more than attract. Take all that get-up away, and I’ll be happy to be your friend.

The many masks we put on distort our countenance to an unrecognisable degree and the many hats we wear weigh us down to the detriment of our sanity. Is it true that the world looks for clowns to humor them? I suppose so for some people. Or do they prefer those whose hearts and minds are connected?

Hi guys,

Sorry I’ve been missing in action for ages. Anyway, just a brief one for now. Well, am thinking and planning to either move my blog to a another place, place which is only accessible to certain people or make some changes here and there. Sounds sudden and drastic - no, it’s not.

Jake, I left you messages all over places, lol. Check your chatbox, mailbox and yes, your blog please. Find a common time so we can talk and hopefully, it can be done. Cheryl, I so miss you. You should have stayed in Singapore, then we can meet up for tea. Jess, I don’t think I’m the only one missing in action. Keith, got your mail, got your messages, I replied, did you get it? I hope so.

I’m sleepy. Gotta run. Be back soon I hope. Until then, take care and love ya all. Muacks!

For thoughts..

1) If a man wants a woman, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t, nothing can make him stay. Sad, but true.

2) Stop making excuses for him and his behavior. Hmm, just to console oneself?

3) Intuition to save oneself from heartache. True to a certain extent. Been there, done that and I live unhappily ever after. Haha, how sad.

4) Stop trying to change oneself for a relationship that’s not meant to be. Did I? Don’t remember.

5) Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy. No comment..

6) If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can’t be friends. A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend. Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. I try to play another game, but my heart can’t take it.

7) Don’t stay because you think it will get better. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better. Benefit of doubt is pointless.

8) If something bothers you, speak up. Again, been there, done that scenario. What did I get? Nothing except this “I want to play ( insert game’s name )”.

9) You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within. Very true, but then again, it’s applicable to women as well.

10) Never let a man define who you are. I guess so..

11) If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you. Once a cheater, forever a cheater.

12) You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals. Look for someone COMPLEMENTARY. Dear Alex fits the bill.

13) Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are and readily available to him, he takes it for granted. You do, don’t you dear?

14) Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others. Brilliant idea indeed.

You.. don’t put me on pedestal. If your play was to push me away, my heart you’d break it but you already did, some time ago.. why do I miss you so much still? Just want to stop to turn inside.

What if I say

1) Sorry I came without invitation - just wanted to be loved.

2) I like apple, and I LOVE you.

3) How can I move on when I want to be in love with you..

What would you do? Nothing I guess except playing DOTA. How sad, haha.

Good night all. Drowsy due to medication.

Goodness. Someone tell me why I’ve been crying for almost an hour why oh why? It’s been like 3 months.. and here I am, still crying

Uncertainty in the air.. strange feelings. False intuitions complicate the affairs of the heart. So far apart, at the opposite ends of the sky. Parted, as though water runs between. The road ahead holds different dreams.

When the rainbow glows upon the sky, that’s when our hearts shall meet. Let me send my heart to the transcending rainbow, may it be the bridge linking yours to mine. Across the sky, our rendezvous.

I wished

12 hours ago..

Woke up late in the morning. Feeling good. Most probably had a good sleep the night before. Was in the mood to bake cake. Hmm, butter cake was the choice. Nothing beats the tantalizing aroma and luscious flavor of a home-baked butter cake. Went out shopping for the ingredients with Alex, had lunch with him as well.

Gonna sidetrack here a bit. I discovered that having shoulder length hair isn’t that bad afterall. Just one reason - I get to style it Miru style.. kekeke. As much as I love my long hair, I always have the thing for Miru hairstyle. Just think it’s cute. By the way, I don’t name the hairstyle randomly. It’s a hairstyle that can be found in MapleStory

The only difference between this Miru hairstyle and my version of Miru hairstyle, it’s the bangs. Well, trimming my bangs to the length as depicted in the pic above, I’m going to end up looking like a school girl. I know I’ll look cuter that way, but erm, no thank you

I looked cute today with the Miru hairstyle, hehe. Pics taken, but with Alex.

We went home early. I don’t have the stamina to shop all day long. One, I haven’t been eating solid food for days. Two, I’m still on medication hated it for it makes me sleepy when taken. Three, I want to go home and bake the butter cake.

Home, baked the cake. Then I napped. Tired, I was. But before I napped, I showered. Smelling all buttery is nice but I don’t want my bed to smell that way, lol.

Feeling drowsy now. Later have a good day everyone.

I’m back for good, I guess. The Internet. The Taiwan quake on 27th December 2006 jammed up the Internet - can’t load international sites, and one good example would be my blog. Then, I had difficulty logging on to MSN Messenger. Even when I managed to logon to MSN Messenger, there’s the lag issue.

Internet = the reincarnation of a snail

Oh well, there’s only so much I can complain about the Internet.

Anyway, Happy New Year everyone. Kinda late but it’s better than nothing. Have a wonderful year my friends

What’s else to blog? Mind is blank at the moment. Oh, something to rant about. Vanity. My hair, it’s now shoulder length. Yup, my way beyond waist length hair got trimmed on 1st January 2007. The head feels lighter and the hair is definitely shorter. It’s shoulder length. Did I ever mention that I dislike shoulder length hair? Hated it because there are kinks on the part where it touches my shoulder. I hate kinks, it’s not pretty. Bleh. Nevertheless, sassy Angelicious is here to stay

My health. I’m down with dengue fever. There goes my Singapore trip. Horrible experience I tell ya. One min the temp goes up, the next min it goes down. Been in and out of the hospital for the past few days. Reason? I refused to be hospitalized. Don’t want to be on drip because it pains me. Zero tolerance for pain, sad. I go to the hospital on a daily basis, so that the doc can monitor my condition, to a certain degree. Had some rashes on my body, but it’s gone now. Sigh, I hope I can recover soon. Sick = no fun. Can’t go anywhere far, can’t overwork myself. Otherwise, I might collapse, which by the way, I did. Thank goodness Alex was with me when I collapsed. For all I know, I could have died there and then. But erm, dying isn’t a scary thing except for the vanity part.. haha. Terrible me

You. We talked over the phone few hours ago, I cried. Cried not because of what happened, but the words said. Meaningless to you, but not to me. Maybe you’re right. It’s the same, no difference. I am what I am to you, just a morsel of your memory. Sob, where do I start? How do I even begin? I don’t know. Sigh. Pretense works, don’t it? What good would it do? No idea. Don’t feel sorry because I doubt you’ll feel or think that way. Don’t sympathize with me, because it doesn’t help. Sob.

On a side note, I forgot to tell you that most of the songs are missing when I copied the files to my desktop. Can upload it once again, please? If no, then it’s ok. Forget it ok.

Dear Jess, Cheryl, Keith, Jake, & Violet..

May lovely happy times decorate your Christmas. May warm special memories brighten your new year. May the wonder of Christmas be with you.

Dear friends..

May beautiful moments and happy memories surround you with joy this Christmas. Merry Christmas.

And you..

Wishing you the small delights and simple pleasures of Christmas. Have a wonderful Christmas with your loved ones. Merry Christmas.

I didn’t send out Christmas card to any of you. So, here’s something for all of you. Hope you like it. Do click on the pics for a better view. Thank you.

Jess, this one is dedicated to you. It’s from me and G.. G wishes you Merry Christmas. He hopes to see you around some time.

Merry Christmas everyone, have a wonderful time. Good day.